


I, Spy

by mitslits



Series: Prompts [61]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Gen, genderbent!valentine, rent boy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 03:59:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12522472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitslits/pseuds/mitslits
Summary: Eggsy is a high-end callboy. He gets invited to a party by a baddy and is saved by Harry.





	I, Spy

In some businesses, it just doesn’t pay to be discerning. 

Eggsy should say no to this newest prospect. He can’t tell exactly what, but there’s something off about her. Maybe it’s the way she introduces herself to Eggsy by grabbing him around the waist and pulling him close. Maybe it’s the fact that her lipstick is red as blood. Maybe it’s just a sixth sense. Whatever it is, Eggsy knows refusing is his best bet. 

But he doesn’t. Because if he says no, he doesn’t get paid, and whatever else this lady might be, she’s also loaded. Her clothes are name-brand, and the bracelet around her wrist couldn’t cost less than £1000, and that’s on the cheap side. 

“What do you say?” she asks, arm still slung around Eggsy’s hips possessively. “I want you for the whole night, and I’d pay you exactly what a handsome little beauty like you deserves.” She’s practically purring, finger tracing along Eggsy’s jaw. 

Eggsy narrows his eyes, pretending to consider. Sometimes, he fetches a better price if they think there’s competition. “All night?” 

The woman smirks. “Unfortunately, there’s a party I really must attend. The real fun would start afterwards.” 

A practiced smirk falls into place on Eggsy’s lips. Make the customer feel enticing, that’s rule number one. “Right,” he drawls, trailing his fingers down the woman’s back. “The real fun. I’m in.” The arm around his waist tightens fractionally, and Eggsy knows he’s got her hooked. His smirk grows wider. “And what do I call you?” 

“Valentina,” Valentina says, already drawing Eggsy towards the club’s exit. 

Eggsy raises one eyebrow but follows obediently. “Ain’t you gonna ask mine?” 

Valentina only shakes her head. “I don’t need to know your name.” 

-

The party is a stiff, upper-class affair, the kind Eggsy is used to but doesn’t enjoy. He’s been to enough of them to know how to behave: sip champagne, make polite small talk about topics people usually avoid, and make all your compliments underhanded. Easy.

Valentina doesn’t show Eggsy off, but she doesn’t try to hide him either. His job (for this part of the evening, at least) is mostly just to stand there and look nice, so Eggsy takes the opportunity to do some looking himself. There isn’t anyone he knows there, of course. His usual crowd would never be invited to a place like this. 

The crowd is largely uninteresting. 

Eggsy thinks he recognizes some faces here and there from political functions on TV, and a couple of them have rented him before. Not that they’ll acknowledge it. None of them ever admit to it even though they all know it happens. Eggsy snorts quietly to himself. Pricks. 

But there is one man that draws his eye, a tall gentleman in a suit that was clearly made for him, umbrella tucked under his arm even though there hasn’t been any rain. 

Eggsy studies his coiffed brown hair, his chocolate eyes, the striking figure he cuts, but if this guy is someone important, Eggsy doesn’t know him. He sort of wishes he did.

Valentina pulls Eggsy out of his thoughts when she places her hand on his arm and leans in close so she can whisper in his ear. “Go ahead and take a minute for yourself, honey. I need to have a private conversation.” 

Eggsy just nods in acknowledgement. He wanders over in the direction of a champagne tower, keeping track of Valentina from the corner of his eye. Why had she needed to come to this party, anyways? 

He watches as she greets one of the more influential party-goers, a member of Parliament whose name Eggsy never bothered to learn. Still, his curiosity gets the better of him and he moves after them as they slink off together. 

Eggsy weaves carefully through the crowd, keeping an eye on Valentina and her new companion but never getting close enough to seem suspicious.

The pair slip into a room and the door closes behind them. 

Cursing internally, Eggsy works his way over towards the door. This part of the manor is mostly unoccupied, but there are still a few guests milling around. Eggsy stations himself as close to the door as he can get without being pressed up against it flat-out and strains his ears. 

It’s no good. Eggsy can hear the low murmurs of their voices, but he can’t make out what they’re saying. He risks turning his head and pressing his ear flat against the door. 

“-can be part of a new world,” Valentina is saying. “A better one. You can help save the planet. All you have to do is say yes, and we can work out the details from there.” 

“And how do I know I won’t be killed in this little culling of yours?” the man is asking. 

Then the voices fall strangely silent. 

Eggsy frowns and presses closer to the door, his whole body against it now. Culling? New world? What the hell were they talking about? 

Without warning, the door swings open, and Eggsy tumbles into the room with a yelp. He looks up to find Valentina and Parliament glaring down at him. 

“You weren’t as subtle as you thought,  _ boy _ ,” Parliament sneers. 

Valentina looks more disappointed than anything. “I was so looking forward to getting my money’s worth out of you,” she sighs. “And now Gazelle is going to have to kill you.” 

Eggsy scrambles to his feet and leaps for the door, but a woman slides smoothly out of the shadows to block his path. Where her legs should be, there are only steel blades, glinting and deadly. 

“What the fuck,” Eggsy whispers to himself, backing up a step. Well. He’s fucked. Definitely should have listened to his gut. He’ll start doing that from now on, if he makes it out of this. God, he hopes he makes it out of this. 

Gazelle advances, eyes gleaming in anticipation. 

“Wait!” Valentina shrieks. “I’m turning around. You can kill him _ after _ I’ve turned around.”  

“Or,” says a new voice, and Gazelle stiffens, frozen in her tracks. “You can let him go, and I won’t have to kill any of you.” 

Eggsy looks behind Gazelle to see the man he’d noted from earlier pressing the barrel of a strange gun to Gazelle’s back. 

The man nods at him. “Harry Hart, at your service. “And you are?” 

“Fucking confused,” Eggsy says. He doesn’t know what he’s stumbled into, but this can’t possibly be real life. Shit like this doesn’t happen in real life. 

Harry smiles a bit, and Eggsy’s heart skips a beat. 

Valentina glares at Harry. “Let us go. We haven’t done anything wrong.” 

“Last I checked,” Harry says dryly, pressing the gun a little more firmly into Gazelle’s spine, “planning to kill off 97% of the world’s population counted as wrong. Or are we legalizing genocide?” he adds with a pointed look at Parliament. 

Parliament quails beneath his gaze. “Please, let me go,” he whimpers. “I didn’t agree to anything! She’s the one you want, not me.” He points at Valentina, even pushes her in front of him. 

Harry’s lip curls. “Right.” Then his attention is back on Eggsy. “I’m sorry, young man, I didn’t catch your name.” 

“Eggsy,” Eggsy says. He might as well play along. He’d rather not give Harry any reason to train that gun on him instead. 

Harry’s smile is back again. “Eggsy,” he echoes. “You’re free to go. I’ll take care of this… situation. And I would very much appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell anyone about this little incident.” 

Eggsy nods dumbly. “Yeah, no problem, bruv. I can keep my mouth shut.” 

Harry gives him a nod and steps aside, dragging Gazelle with him. He tilts his head towards the door. 

Without a second thought, Eggsy books it out of there. The door slams shut behind him, and he leans against the wall outside, panting. He pinches himself just to make sure he isn’t dreaming. A spike of pain. Not dreaming, then. 

A moment later there are three soft thuds. Three bodies hitting the floor. 

Eggsy stares straight ahead. He should move before Harry gets out and realizes Eggsy’s heard everything. He should call the police. He should do fucking anything other than standing here like an idiot. 

But he’s still there when the door opens a few minutes later, and Harry steps out as coolly as if he hadn’t just shot three people. Harry stops when he sees him, blinking. “Eggsy,” he says. 

That seems to jumpstart Eggsy, has him pushing off the wall with wide, pleading eyes. “I won’t tell anyone, swear down. I ain’t never grassed anyone up, and I ain’t about to start now.” 

Harry stares at him, and there seems to be something a little regretful in his eyes. “No,” he agrees. “You won’t. 

Eggsy should have run. A shudder runs down his spine as Harry raises his arm to… point his watch at him? Eggsy doesn’t have time to wonder about it before there’s a small prick in his neck. “What the fuuuu-?” His question trails into unconsciousness, and he’s out before he hits the floor. 


End file.
